"A man broke into a barn on Thanksgiving morning, spray-painted three pet goats and scattered pages of pornographic magazines on the floor..."

Okey dokey.

This one is definitely for the "Just Plain Weird" file.

No, I'm not talking about the kind of wine that you drink -- though that can be nice on occasion -- I'm talking about the WINE that means Wine Is Not an Emulator.

It's a little piece of software juju that allows you to run some Windoze programs under Linux and today I got the first of those things working, to wit: the Sheep Entertainment Ukulele Chord Finder.

It's my second favorite of these kind of apps. Unfortunately, my first favorite -- chordAlchemy -- doesn't seem to get along with WINE (or vice versa). *sigh*

Nonetheless, I'm happy to see this one working. Now to just get about two more of the few that I miss from the Win98 box and I can almost completely dedicate it to being a DAW.

That'll be a happy day.

You are The Magician

Skill, wisdom, adaptation. Craft, cunning, depending on dignity.

Eleoquent and charismatic both verbally and in writing, you are clever, witty, inventive and persuasive.

The Magician is the male power of creation, creation by willpower and desire. In that ancient sense, it is the ability to make things so just by speaking them aloud. Reflecting this is the fact that the Magician is represented by Mercury. He represents the gift of tongues, a smooth talker, a salesman. Also clever with the slight of hand and a medicine man - either a real doctor or someone trying to sell you snake oil.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Thanks once again to Zathras at Ukeland.com I've just posted my rendition of Moonglow.

It's the first thing I've done on my "almost a studio". Just ukulele and vocals.

After several hours of searching up programs to read my (corrupted) Outlook mail file I finally gave up and re-installed Outlook itself. It was worth it though as I recovered the registration code for nTrack Studio, which I purchased back in 2002 and hardly got a chance to use. 

I'm currently saving out all the mail as separate files (mostly text but some come up as .rtf -- Rich Text Format -- and some as .htm files).

It's a long process but when I'm done I can burn them to CD and uninstall Outlook for good and all.

Now my "set up to do some recording" process consists of:

1. Step into closet and turn computer on
2. Plug power cord into mixer (there's no on/off switch on it)
3. Turn on power amp
4. Fire up nTrack
5. Plug in a mike
6. Start recording

Recently I ran across Professor Peter and Doctor Dick, two wonderfully crazed dudes from the Netherlands, both members of the Small Instrument Society.

In the SIS clubhouse (amongst other things) is a bulletin board that says "Ukulelelists are invited to put up their names in the Hall of Names."

So I did. I'm proud to be there along with the Hoppin' Haole Brothers, Petty Booka, Craig Robertson, Uke Jackson and other such luminaries of the ukulele worldwide.

The Professor and the Doctor play a variety of wonderful instruments besides the ukulele. The one that especially attracted my attention was the one pictured to the left that I dubbed "The Humpet."

If you're a junk instrument freak like me you'll recognize that it's a kazoo miscegenating with the brass part of a squeeze-bulb horn, the type you can find all over the place in low-budget interior decor places. They're usually made in India and, even if you can find one that makes a good honk, the rubber that the squeeze bulb is made of is extremely cheap and tends to rot away quickly.

This, obviously, is the purpose to which these units were meant to be applied.

If you're not a regular follower of my writings, you might wonder why it was the thing that attracted me on the site. Well, that just means you've never met "The Humbone." A glance to your right will show you that I've taken steps to rectify that situation.

Incidentally, if you click on either picture you'll get a popup with the full-size image in it.

All that aside, the Professor and the Doctor are great folks, fun to listen to and I'd be willing to bet a hell of a lot of fun to hang out and party with. They have a definite jug band feel to them, even though there's just the two of them. In fact, there's a jug in their arsenal.

You should go check out their site, listen to some tunes and hey, if you drop 'em a line, make sure and say that the howlinhobbit Hobbit sent you!

I've been working all day on getting some more backups done (and therefore cleaning off the "big" computer) so that I can do a semblance of a recording studio with it. I just took a break from the backup task in order to try and move the CPU into the bedroom closet whilst leaving the keyboard, mouse, monitor and such out in the main room. This is because the fans in the CPU are very noisy and I want quiet recordings.

Well, I did it. The main chunk of the computer is in the closet and, while you can still faintly hear the fan, that can be corrected (if necessary) by simply stuffing something up against the bottom of the door.

Weirdly enough, it's gotten quiet enough in here that I can hear the ticking of the FA's alarm clock. Yes, it's battery powered, but the second hand seems to click off the seconds instead of "flowing" through them.

Last time I did a recording here I stuffed her (old) clock into my sock drawer and then forgot to remove it or tell her about it.

*ahem*

Going to try and avoid that mistake in the future.

Next step: See if I can get the computer and audio mixer hooked together.

Stay tuned!

I am someone who was raised with a fine tradition around the Thanksgiving holiday yet I still sometimes forget what yesterday is supposed to be about. It's not a holiday that you should object to because it's based on the wrong religion or it's ignoring the hungry in the world or even it's become the day before the mad shopping glut for the upcoming holiday. I've heard all of these from folks I know, sometimes as a response to my invitation to join me and mine for the holiday.

It's a day for friends and family and being thankful for those things that you do have and enjoy. And by "things" I don't necessarily mean "possessions".

But rather than trying to put it in my own fumbling words I'd like to point you to this letter that LynnH shared on her blog, ColorJoy.

It's a beauty.

I hope that all of you who celebrate Thanksgiving had as nice a day as we did.

The Fallen Angel cooked up a traditional feast and we shared it with our friends Rob (who brought pies) and Jena (who brought a fruit/melon tray).

It was turkey, stuffing, mashed potatos (Yukon Golds... yum!) and gravy, several veggies and dinner rolls. And, of course, fruit and melon before and pie after. The dinner rolls were the traditional forgotten item and I was the designated runner.

Lots of good tunes playing from the kitchen (where the FA's computer with the good speakers and the huge collection of music is) and good conversation around the table.

We then played a game of Scrabble which, true to form, the Fallen Angel (aka "The Scrabble Queen") won handily.

Jena had to go to work in the evening so she and Rob left while it was still pretty early.

We did the dishes and then just sort of sat about, not quite in the post-prandial stupor, but not far from it either.

I did a bit more work getting my "big" computer (as opposed to the laptop I'm typing on now) ready to be my DAW (Digital Audio Workstation... such a fancy-shmancy title for such a low end unit!). I'll be blogging on that process in another entry.

Meanwhile, the cats and the FA are sleeping and I'm going to decide whether to do that entry tonight or join them in slumbers.

A little something sent to me by my Mom.

I think it may be one of those things that go around and around on the web, but that doesn't make it any less true and seeing it all laid out together like this makes one wonder...

++++++++++++++++++++++

Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack.

1955 - Some other kids come over and ogle a kid with a vehicle.

1973 -Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's rifle, goes to his car and gets his to show Jack.

2006 - School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers. Lawsuits pending.

++++++++++++++++++++++

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1955 - S-o-o-o-o?

1973 -Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends. Nobody goes to jail, nobody arrested, nobody expelled.

2006 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it. Lawsuits pending.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1955 - Teacher raps Jeffery's knuckles with a ruler. Jeffrey knocks off disruptive behavior.

1973 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by Principal. Sits still in class.

2006- Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability. Future lawsuits coming.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his father's car and his Dad gives him a whipping.

1955 - S-o-o-o?

1973- Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2006 - Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. Billy's sister is told by state psychologist that she remembers being abused herself and their Dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist. Lawsuits pending.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some headache medicine to school.

1955 - So-o-o-o?

1973- Mark shares headache medicine with Principal out on the smoking dock.

2006 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons. Lawsuits pending.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Scenario: Mary turns up pregnant.

1955 - Mary and father have to get married, move away in shame.

1973 - 5 High School Boys leave town. Mary does her senior year at a special school for expectant mothers.

2006 - Middle School Counselor calls Planned Parenthood, who notifies the ACLU. Mary is driven to the next state over and gets an abortion without her parent's consent or knowledge. Mary given condoms and told to be more careful next time.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.

1955 - Pedro?

1973: Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.

2006: Pedro's cause is taken up by state democratic party. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he can't speak English.

+++++++++++++++++++++

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.

1955 - Ants die.

1973 - Ants still die.

2006 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

+++++++++++++++++++++

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary, hugs him to comfort him.

1955 - The teacher definitely doesn't hug him and he doesn't cry either because the other kids would call him a crybaby.

1973 - In a short time Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2006 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Lawsuits pending.

If I start studying the language now maybe I can move to Novo Santo Antonio in Brazil when I get old and take advantage of its program, "Pinto Alegre"*, that distributes free Viagra.

Of course, I'll have to be married since some of the old rakes were "looking elsewhere" with their pocket full of little blue pills so the Viagra is now being given to their wives.

É um mundo velho estranho!**

*("Happy Penis")
**("It's a weird old world!")

I just read this article in Newsweek (c/o MSNBC) about eyelash transplants. Yep, you read that right.

Originally conceived of to help burn victims, there's been a "regular explosion" of requests for this procedure for cosmetic purposes.

I think the part that squicked me most is when they explained that, since the "eyelashes" were actually little strips from the back of your scalp, you have to trim them regularly because they grow like... well, like the hair on your head.

As a guy with really thick, dark and long eyelashes I can't relate. Especially since mine have the habit of falling off into my eye and causing extreme irritation. I just can't imagine having to trim and curl the damn things so that they don't grow into my eyes.

There's a link to a special "blow-by-blow" account of the surgery but I just didn't have the guts to check it out.

Will at Clicked points us to an article on the Security Pro News site that claims 200 Spammers Create 80 Percent Of Spam.

He (Will) goes on to wonder ". . .how many people respond to spam such that it's worth the time of these 200 people."

Me? I wonder how long it would take to track down a mere 200 people and beat them to a bloody pulp.

Yeah. That's what I wonder.

Zathras at Ukeland.com -- host of the world renowned UkeCast -- has been kind enough to set up a howlinhobbit Hobbit page in his players pages section and host some tunes for me. (Thanks again, Zathras!)

My first contribution is my take on Don't Get Around Much Anymore.

If you want all the gory tech details you can find them at the info page for the song.

Well, most of the gory details anyway. I didn't mention how it's probably the last tune I'll try to record on my Fostex MR-8. I had thought that the cassette-tape-like hiss on my last tries had been because I had to feed the recording into my computer via an audio cable and had set the input volume too high. Oh very no! It's the damn unit itself. I don't know how to fix that or even if it's possible to fix that.

Luckily between me and the Fallen Angel we had the software to clean up the mess so the recording isn't too bad.

Do, please, leave a comment and let me know what you think of it!

I think I may have ranted about this in my other blog but I'm going to go ahead anyways.

MSNBC tells me this morning that there's been another Woman kicked off plane for breast-feeding. As usual, the people involved in the travesty are saying things like, "A breast-feeding mother is perfectly acceptable on an aircraft, providing she is feeding the child in a discreet way," that doesn't bother others...

Listen up! If you're bothered by the sight of a woman feeding her child I suggest that the problem can be found in your mirror, not in the situation itself! Look the other way, you incredible moron!

Sure, breasts can be pretty and fun and even sexually arousing in certain situations. I'm not immune to appreciating the occasional "flash" one gets just from being part of a bi-gender race and not being blind. But they are for feeding babies.

Feeding. Babies.

If there's anything more important than that, please do let me know.

Go ahead and think on it. I'll wait.

In fine. Grow up! Get over it!

We now return you to your regularly scheduled real life, already in progress.

Thank you.

My morning pass through my RSS aggregator revealed an entry by the marvelous and always fun to read Seth Godin about a guy he saw playing flute while driving. Later that day he spies another one.

I giggle to myself because I've seen this video of Victoria Vox playing her ukulele and singing while knee-driving.
[blockquote]I would like to quickly point out here that Victoria seems to be on an open and sparsely trafficked road as opposed to somewhere in urban, rush-hour traffic like the other ones.[/blockquote]
Then someone sends him a link and a picture of some Celtic-style artwork of a "knee-driver" playing his pennywhistle. There's also some hilarious commentary about the practice on the page. (The Chiff & Fipple site is devoted to pennywhistle.)

Seth posts a follow-up wondering if this is a movement.

And apparently it is. Maybe not so big as the Alice's Restaurant Massacree Anti-War Movement, but a movement nonetheless.

Me? I'm torn between "so happy more people are choosing to do the homemade music" thing and "so appalled that they're choosing to do it in traffic."

What do you think?

First, a word of explanation. Most of the stuff I've posted under the "Just Plain Weird" tag has been stuff I would almost rant about. But I like weird. And here's a little bit of weird that I like.

Thanks to Benonymous and Tiki Joe on the Ukulele Cosmos Forums I discovered a guy named 78MAN on YouTube. All he does (and he does a lot of it) is post videos of his record player playing his collection of old 78 rpm beauties.

Check him out!

Now that the election is over with and the Dems are poised to take charge of all the houses in DC except the white one, they've decided to come clean about their true agenda.

Hilarious!

Be sure and read the comments and then click over to the blog.

While I have yer basic love/hate relationship with this project, when the love happens the Emerald City Jug Band can be pure joy. Tonight (well, actually last night since it's now past midnight) was one of those occasions.

A couple years ago Jim "The Emergency Folksinger" Nason got us a gig with his across the street neighbors. They were having a birthday party for their daughter and, even though it was a late teen birthday, she (the daughter) dug the thought of something as funky as a jug band. We had a blast playing in their backyard to a bunch of friends (including an entire punk band that showed up and really loved the whole jug band thing).

Well, Jim did it again.

We played a couple sets, totally "unplugged", in the nice folks' living room this time. The lady of the house is an incredible cook and had, besides the cold cuts and such, a selection of four or five soups that she'd cooked herself. I had some potato and bleu cheese soup that was awesome.

There was more wine and beer then even the thirty or so folk there could drink through and the ages ranged from a little girl of about 4 or 5 up to folks in their late sixties.

It was a very uke-heavy night for a jug band gig. I played ukulele and sang on Peoria, the Disney tune Wanna Be Like You (Jim also on uke for this one), Dr. Hokum & Mr. Jive (one of my tunes), Burnt Bean Water (one of Jim's tunes, but I've stolen it), Hula Rocka (another Jim tune, I just strum along with this one and do a bit of backing vox) and I seem to remember one more was on the set list but damn if I can remember what it was right now.

As an added bonus, the aforementioned little girl had, sometime in the past, heard Jim do Warren Zevon's Werewolves of London and loved it. She requested it. Jim was going to do it solo (since we've never even attempted it as a band before) but as he was tuning up to do it (just before the second set) I asked him what the chords were, correctly suspecting that it was a 3-chord wonder. So I picked up the Notecannon (aka my National US Steel model resonator ukulele) and we rocked out a version of the crowd pleaser that had the little girl happily howling along.

We did Ice Cream Man and I once again tried to employ the Humbone, this time successfully, playing a solo on it whilst also keeping the beat on the washboard.

I blew harp on a few tunes and even switched off to washtub bass for Paul's tune, Dead or Alive. I usually play banjo uke on this one but, alas, the banjo uke was damaged on the trip back from the last ECJB gig -- broken vellum -- and I haven't had the chance nor funds to repair it.

One of the "hate" aspects I have with this band is how when we're amplified I usually end up with the short end of the stick in the mix department and can't hear squat except for Stan's guitar and sometimes the vocals. Since we did this one unplugged there was none of that foolishness to deal with. The other guys tend to actually listen more when we're not amped and we end up just plain sounding better.

The crowd ate it up and applauded and cheered vigorously, even for solos!

Heck, even for my washboard solo in Step It Up And Go.

So, here I am, one tired but happy musicianer.

Let's just have more of these kind of gigs, eh?

Fake wasabi? For shame!

Frankly, I don't do sushi. I don't mind the raw fish or sticky rice, but that seaweed thing just leaves me cold. I might as well hit the medicine chest and drink a bottle of iodine. That's what it tastes like to me.

But for the rest of you, better ask for the real thing or who knows what they'll try to pawn off on you in the "green, putty-like substance" department?

...do it pronto!

Frankly, if you can't figure out how to put the thing on, maybe you should refrain from sex until you can.

Accidents happen, and we don't need more stupid people. Thank you.

OK, this isn't exactly a "gig story", but it's pretty close.

I haven't bothered to check the charts at ezFolk.com for some months now. I just popped in to check out the forums and there's a message from Richard Hefner, head honcho there, about how the links to the charts are broken and Tony Provencher jumped in and put together his own, by genre.

Cool! Let's go check 'em out.

I have songs up in (IIRC) three genres... Hokum, Jazz - Acoustic and Ukulele. I'm on the daily charts at least once for all of them.

Cool again.

Then I check out the weekly charts and lo, there on the Jazz - Acoustic chart I'm in the top ten, either solo or with Snake Suspenderz, at #1 (solo, "Jitterbug Blues"), #2 (w/Snake Suspenderz, "Get It Right The First Time"), #3 (solo, "Goddess Kring") and #6 (w/Snake Suspenderz, "Say Hello To Mr. Snake").

Way cool!

I dunno when you, gentle reader, will click on the above link so I may completely drop off the radar, but as of this writing that's how it stands.

Still not quite sure if this site is for real or not but it claims to sell shotgun ammo where the pellets are little hard balls of flavoring (spices, etc.).

Supposed to be better because nobody breaks their teeth eating the duck, pheasant or whatever and because misses biodegrade instead of putting chunks of lead into the fields, streams, lakes and forests.

And, of course, you pick the flavor you want to cook into your prey.

Ain't commerce grand?

(hat tip to Strange New Products)

If we ever decide we can't live without a TV (other than the little bitty one that the Fallen Angel watches DVDs and videotapes on in her sewing area) I want one of these.

I particularly like the Meteor but the Danish Modern and the Chalet are pretty spif too.

I napped out this afternoon for several hours. When I woke up the Fallen Angel says she's worried because she hasn't seen Yuri (one of our two cats) for some time.

We search the house. We looked everywhere that a cat could possibly hide and a few places that it really couldn't. We "kitty kitty!" for him. We rattle the howlinhobbitd dish (something that usually brings him running). His brother, Neil, is wandering around howling.

OK. The front door has been open three times today. Once when a guy from Comcast came by as a "follow up" to the tech's visit the other day. Once when the FA left to go thrift storing and once (for a bit longer) as she carried in the swag she bought.

We didn't notice the cat going out and it seemed highly unlikely as he's just not that brave. Hell, it took him two days here before he came out from under the bed.

I did a circuit of our block calling and looking for him. I went into the backyard calling for him. I drove around several blocks looking for him.

Nada. Zip. Zilch.

We're both sitting here, all depressed, me at the dining room table, she at her desk in the back of the kitchen (the "breakfast nook" that is now her office/sewing room) when suddenly she jumps up and starts digging through one of the drawers in that area. A broken drawer mind you, it's missing the little center track it should use to slide in and out of and is above one of the cupboards we opened and checked in.

"Yuri!", she yells and, sure enough, there's the dumb damn cat, asleep in a drawer that's barely deep enough to hold his pudgy little ass. He apparently decided he'd napped long enough and was stirring around trying to get out. This made sounds and alerted the FA to his whereabouts.

We're both relieved but Neil is a bit pissed at him. He's chased him around a couple times now, thumping on him whenever he gets in range. I think they might have kissed and made up, though Neil seems to still be cursing him.

We've taped the cupboard shut until we can get it, and the drawer, repaired.

Success!

I mentioned in a recent post that I was having trouble getting the machines on our home LAN to see each other now that we switched to wifi. I said "back to the forums" and that's what I did. A little searching and I didn't even have to post a question as I found an entry from a fella named DimitrisC that said:

"Problem solved. Just had to install smbfs. Now i can access the network shares with samba with wifi as i did with cables!!!"

So I went to my Synaptic Package Manager -- this is one of the ways you can install stuff on Linux, or at least, on Ubuntu Linux -- and searched for the "smbfs" package. Yup, it's one of three related packages for SAMBA and it's the only one I hadn't yet installed. So I told it to come on down and now we're back to both intra- and inter-nets.

w00t!

I think that the headline here tells the story. I mean, you know where this is going and where the weapon went.

Damn. Some people's kids, y'know?

...but he thinks that SAMBA sucks!

SAMBA is the Linux file sharing thing that, supposedly, allows you to share folders with others on your LAN whether they're running Linux, Windoze, Mac or whatever.

It's one of the few things that gave me heartburn when I first set up Ubuntu on the laptop here. I finally got it working and things were flowing pretty smoothly. Then we switched over to wireless for our LAN and internet access.

I'm pretty sure I tested it once I got things working last night and it seemed to be working well. Today I decide that I'm going to have to do something to secure our little corner of the net. I don't want random passersby to be able to sniff around on our computers or to use our net connection (and therefore our IP address) to spam the world about the latest penis enlargement patch or whatever.

WEP and/or WPA are right out because:

a) I don't really know enough about them to get 'em going properly and...
b) The little "wifi utility" on the one Windoze box we have running currently (one more coming in the next day or so) and the one on the Linux laptop here don't support the same protocols.

So I decide I'll go for the "only allow the MAC addresses on this list" option. After a bit of googling and general sniffing about I ascertain how to find out the addresses for each of our network cards and, after a bit more head scratching, figure out how to put them on the router's list.

Success!

Sorta.

I'm pretty sure you can't sit in our driveway with your laptop and get on our wifi but the file sharing has gone all wonky. I keep changing one thing or another but the results have been... errr... mixed.

Bear in mind that "mixed" is diplomacy-speak for "hosed."

*sigh*

Back to the Ubuntu forums for me. Maybe some Alpha Geek there can tell me how to fix this.

On the bright side, the internet connection is so much faster than we had at the other place that the slowdown from going wireless isn't noticable at all. I downloaded some mp3s today and was getting speeds ten times faster than before.

Back to the grind.

I'm happily typing this on my laptop which is sitting on the table in the dining room of our new place (pics just as soon as we're really moved in and the place gets tidied up a bit).

Using my computer here is a special joy as it was just today that we got the Comcast internet connection up and flying (without all their extraneous software) and replaced our old router with a wireless one.

Getting the wifi router to work was as easy as just plugging it in where the old wired one was. Didn't have to do any set up (though I'm going in tomorrow to do a bit of customizing, securing, etc.). My little Linux box, once again, just worked.

Getting the Fallen Angel's Windoze 98 box up and flying was a tad more work, but nothing extreme. Install the wifi card in place of the NIC she had in there (which, btw, was broken somehow in the move... the plug itself snapped off). Then tweak with the little antenna on the back until it was pointed correctly to get the strongest signal.

Comcast's speed is so much greater than what we had with Millenium that even the relative slowdown going from cabled to wireless still leaves things fast enough to actually stream video instead of pausing it while it completely (and slowly) downloads and then playing it.

Rockin'!