I was just on the ezFolk forums and found that Woodshed had linked to one of his August posts and somehow I'd missed it when it first went by.

That's a pity because it's an excellent post on how to get good tone from a cheaper ukulele.

It's one of a number of really good posts on Woodshed's blog. If you're a uker and haven't subscribed to his rss feed you're missing out.

There's a thread currently on the Flea Market Music Bulletin Board where the instigator asks for "witty banter" to go along with his uke playing at an upcoming gig (his second gig IIRC).

There was the usual back and forth about it but one gal got really close when she said, "Don't try to be funny, just be "you." As in, not you really, but whatever onstage persona you have going for you."

This put me in mind of a post a did a little over two years ago so I searched it up and decided to "reprint" it here. Bear in mind that Snake Suspenderz was a duo, not a quartet, at the time.

I originally posted it on Friday, August 19, 2005 and it's called:

On the importance of being a 'toon

Snake Suspenderz was the middle act of three at a long-running "songwriter showcase" here in Seattle the other night. I'm not going to mention either of the other two acts by name because what I'm going to say here might be construed as insulting by some and that's not my intent.

We're going to talk about the last act especially. He is a very talented fella with a resumé that includes sessions with some pretty big names. He's touring now in support of his new CD and is living in a state other than Washington.

He writes very well, is one king hell of a guitar picker and has a nice voice besides. But you know what? I'm pretty sure that if you collared the audience from that night and asked them, most of them would remember Snake Suspenderz by name and his name not at all.

Why?

Because we're such incredible talents that folks are still gibbering in terror at the scope of our mighty musical skills?

Not.

Because we're both so damned dashingly handsome that the girls were all damp and dewy-eyed and even the hetero boys in the audience were swooning?

Ha!

Nope, none of the above. It's because when he stood there on stage playing his terrific music that's all he was doing. Standing there on stage playing music.

We, on the other paw, have a "back story" -- remind me to tell you about it sometime if I haven't already -- and our stage personae are exaggerated aspects of ourselves. Right to the point of being cartoonish.

Just about everybody who's made a success of themselves in the music biz (or even show biz in general) has had this cartoonish vibe going for them. Their public persona could be summed up in a (short) paragraph... sometimes even a sentence.

When you think of Bugs Bunny you certainly don't think about the depth and nuance of his character, but I'll bet that just about everyone reading this sentence can conjure up a vivid picture of Bugs in their mind and, even if you can't verbalize it easily (i.e. in a short sentence), you know just what you can expect from him.

It is just that kind of clarity that causes the audience to remember you.

Of course, if you want to be remembered fondly... you have to be fun (entertaining, y'know?).

It's like a laser. Lasers strip out all the extraneous bits of the spectrum and focus all their energy in one color or the other.

A flashlight will do a fine and workmanlike job of lighting up a dark corner but a laser will burn right into whatever it's pointed at.

Lasers are bloody memorable. Flashlights are merely useful.

I'm constantly appalled by the whining that goes on in the singer/songwriter community about how they can't score the paid gigs when they're not offering a show. A focussed, entertaining show. "But.. but...", they snivel, "I'm baring my soul up here!"

Newsflash!

I don't wanna see your nekkid soul prancing about for an hour or so when I go out for a drink and some tunes.

I've got my own troubles and I'm going out, and spending my hard-earned cash, to be entertained. I don't think I'm alone in this attitude.

But you gotta focus.

When I was doing a magic act -- yeah, there's lots you don't know about me yet -- I read an amazing book on showmanship that explained how to "fine tune" your act. Amongst other things it said:

Any given part of your act can have one of three affects...

1. It can add to the act.
2. It can detract from the act.
3. It can neither add nor detract from the act.

The first thing you do is get rid of everything in #2 (every line, action and "bit of business" that detracts from the effect you're trying to achieve). Be ruthless.

Now go through the act again and get rid of everything in #3. Be even more ruthless.

Now what you've got left perhaps isn't as nuanced, it's exaggerated (like a cartoon), it's simplistic (like a cartoon)... and it's also focussed, memorable and much, much stronger than what you had before.

Strip away the excess, exaggerate the aspect(s) you want to be remembered for, and focus on that.

In fine, make yourself more like a cartoon.

Those of you who have never lived in or had to drive a lot in Seattle might not get it, but here's a page on Driver's Etiquette for Seattle.

It is all too factual. Especially the snow bits.

I hope that all of you that celebrate Christmas (in whatever fashion) had a great one! Here at the Hobbit Hole it was just me, the Fallen Angel and the cats and we had a pretty low key but very nice day.

Due to our taking the trip to Boise last week we had decided not to put up a big tree this year. For one, it seemed silly to leave our cats alone with the tree for several days. Though they did have Gyan to feed them and check in on them they'd have spent the majority of their time alone, happily climbing up and knocking stuff off of it. And as large as both of them are the chances of them actually knocking the whole thing over were pretty good. So no tree.

But yesterday I was running a few last minute errands and I found myself in the QFC next to a table full of christmas-themed books at 25% off. Amongst them was a "christmas tree in a box" and at a bit over $12 after tax I just couldn't resist. I have a weakness for kitsch.

So me and the FA put the thing together (its box becomes its base) and decorated it with the included cardboard ornaments.

We kinda like it.

(You can click on the pics in this entry to get bigger versions in a popup window.)

Most of the presents around the tree came from the FA's mom and they make for the nice display, dontcha think?

And speaking of presents from her mum... the second pic is of the most amazingly pagan Ol' St. Nick decoration. Don't be confused by the "halo" he seems to be wearing, that's the loop of string to hang him on your tree. But it better be a pretty large and strong tree as he's about 5 or 6 inches tall and quite heavy. Luckily he's also flat on the bottom and felted there as well so you can set him on your mantel.

In any event, he's just covered in pagan symbols. The stag horn crown around his hat, the "horn of plenty" (even though it's shaped like a "loving cup"), the holly leaves on the trim of his robes, the owl on his arm. You should definitely click on him to see the details!

I wonder if mumsy knew?

Ah well. I had forgotten until a day or so ago that I was covering for Gyan at the market tomorrow, so I'd better get to bed.

Goodnight, friends!

I was on the MSNBC news site earlier when I ran across a slideshow of celebrity sightings. The pic they were using for the preview link was of Johnny Depp and I popped it open hoping (rightfully) that it would have some mention of his latest role, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. While going through the slideshow I was surprised to see this picture of the Killer, Mr. Jerry Lee Lewis himself, with a caption about how he played a fundraiser for New Orleans a couple weeks ago.

See, if asked I would have guessed he was dead. Glad to be wrong in this instance, but there ya go.

(As with most pics in my blog, you can click on it for a popup with a larger version.)

The fundraiser was for an organization put together by Brad Pitt called Make it Right. They're trying to raise funds to build 150 low-income houses, all done "green" and energy efficient, for the Lower 9th Ward in New Orleans. It looks like a good org. You can donate for a whole house or a number of different bits (e.g. an energy efficient thermostat or an emergency generator). Click the link and check it out. It seems to me that helping our own should be at least as important as helping someone on the other side of the world.

I was reading a ukulele forum when someone posted about how The Times (the London one) had "gotten it wrong" about the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain.

It seems that a fellow in the entertainment section named Pete Paphides thought the UOoGB was "the only ukulele-based covers band in Europe" and he wrote about it in an article called Top five gigs.

This is, as they might say over there, "tosh." There are a number of them and I posted a comment to that effect, but the only one I could think of off the top of my head was The Re-Entrants. Fine. I mentioned them and left their link.

Later on I went back to the forum and one of said Re-Entrants had spotted the comment and said thanks. This got me thinking.

Always a dangerous thing.

This is a "win-win" as far as I can see. I get to publicise a friend and there's always the chance that somebody from ghod only knows where might just find my site and/or blog that way. And that's what I was thinking about.

I wonder who (if anybody) has found either my main site or this blog just from reading a comment I've left elsewhere and wondering who the hell this Howlin' Hobbit guy is anyway?

Anybody reading this now who discovered my blog this way?

Anybody writing their own blog (or hosting their own site or whatever) who's been found this way?

Let me know in the comments here. What the heck, you could get "discovered."

I'm sitting here in the house with nobody home but for me and the cats. The Fallen Angel and Gyan are both out at the Fremont Arts Council's Solstice Feast. I have lots of things that I could should be doing yet I can't work up the energy to do more than read a bit and I'm already thinking seriously about hitting the hay.

I can fall prey to laziness as well as the next slacker I'm sure but since getting back from the visit to Mom's place I feel like I've not been able to catch up on my sleep. My energy level bears no resemblence to what my ambitions call for. I'd call it jetlag if it weren't for the fact that we only moved over one time zone from what I'm used to.

Perhaps a touch of SAD has set in? If so, I should feel relieved. Tonight is, after all, the longest night of the year. From here until summer the days will just grow, and grow brighter.

Um. More or less. This is Seattle. Lots of grey left to deal with.

I mistakenly believed that my two extra days working puppets this week were today and Sunday.

Actually it turns out it's today and tomorrow.

Maybe hitting the hay early isn't such a bad plan.

Happy Solstice, everybody.

We're back in Seattle, having had a good time visiting with my mom, my siblings, some nieces and a nephew.

The flight back was good even if it left too early. It simply left me so tired that I've spent most of the day napping in my chair while trying to catch up on blogs I read and suchlike. It was my first time on a turbo-prop plane and it was cool if somewhat cramped. Even though we were sitting only a couple rows behind the props it was no noisier than a ride on a Greyhound bus. And the bus doesn't serve you treats.

On that subject, Horizon Air does some seriously good treats, at least in the beverage department. Unlike its parent, Alaska Airlines, the coffee was really good. They also offered complimentary wine and beer and, much to the delight of the Fallen Angel, Vernor's Ginger Ale.

Tomorrow it's back to work time so I think, despite all my napping, I'll be turning in very soon.

Yesterday evening sister Shari, her husband Bill, their kids Sara, Tanya, Jana and Daniel came over to Mom's place to join her, me, the Fallen Angel, my brother Greg and other brother Karl for our early Christmas.

We had a nice time, ate the traditional howlinhobbitd, opened presents (I got a couple books, one of which I'm already reading) and hung around talking.

It was quite a crowd for Mom's living room but we managed.

Mom got me a package of five reeds for my pocket sax. Can't wait to get back and start tootling on the thing again.

Mom bought Daniel a tiny little radio-controlled helicopter and, alas when Greg was trying it out, it crashed and broke off half its main rotor. It's an amazing toy but they insist it is for indoor use only. You'd think that hitting furniture wouldn't be sufficient to break something designed for indoor use, y'know?

I think Uncle Greg is more upset about it than Daniel. He'll fix/replace it soon but the company sure doesn't make itself easy to find online.

Apparently we're going to have a big photo session this afternoon. I'd best get into the shower soon and put on the fancier outfit I brought (I know my mom and photos, k?).

Got up at my usual "work" time this morning so I could get enough coffee on board and finish packing for a flight to Boise, ID.

Gyan took me and the Fallen Angel to SeaTac where we did the checkin thing and went through security with no problems. In fact, security was surprisingly fast and pleasant. Of course, now we're there behind their "wall" and have an hour to kill.

It was at about this time that I realized I'd packed my cigarette roller, tobacco and lighter but hadn't remembered to pack papers.

Arrrrgh!

So, after a very nice flight (lovely flight crew, faster than promised, etc.) we're at the Boise airport. It's four hours since I've smoked and, while I've been good -- you know, did't have a nic fit and bite someone's head off or anything -- I'm ready for a smoke.

So, shy guy that I am, I bummed one off one of the cabbies.

I'm over at my Mom's house and, for the first time in like 25 years, all four of her kids (and assorted other family) are visiting at the same time.

I'm currently on my youngest brother's laptop, stealing bandwidth from one of the neighbors here. Karl (the bro in question) says that I either need to plug in soon or get offline because his battery isn't charged real well.

We'll be having our early Christmas, including fancy dinner and all that jazz, later tonight. I'll try to keep you, my loyal legion of readers up to date.

Oh yeah. And we stopped on the way here and bought some rolling papers.

I actually found the "translation" video several weeks ago and had it stashed in my "bloggable tidbits" notebook. I just found the original vid tonight so I thought I'd save you all the trouble and delay by presenting both of them on one page.

Apparently Stina and Mossy (the two cats seen in this video) usually fight instead of talk, so this was an odd moment.

(Go here if embedded vid doesn't work for you.)

And here's what you'd hear if you had your babel fish tucked in your ear.

(The YouTube page for the above just in case... well, you know.)

Hot party, cool music, low lighting. John Curry on ukulele, Crystal Cook on tuba.

(If the video isn't working for you try watching it on YouTube.)

Reminds me a bit of the early days of Snake Suspenderz. Except Thad was better on tuba (actually, sousaphone) and I was worse on ukulele.

What a cool party though.

Check out these cool guitars from Esteban Bojorquez down in sunny CA.

I just love the idea of a gas can lap steel, don't you?

Bushman Ukuleles web site is holding a video contest and giving out prizes of ukes, cases, strings, etc. I was thinking about putting an entry in (it's about time I gave another stab at a video) but I think that this one may just be the winner.

I mean, c'mon! Puppets with ukes? I couldn't do better.

(If the video doesn't show up for you, go watch in on YouTube.)

Here's a fun thing. A list of the top 9 unique structures around the world that are either about to start building or, in some cases, are already in progress.

There's some real Jetsons architecture here. The one in Dubai is over a half mile high!

Some of them are so pretty, I felt confident tagging this entry as "art."

Enjoy!

I've recently ranted about the big fat lies that the nanny state is telling us about the so-called "obesity epidemic" here in the US but my rant was somewhat lacking in illustrations.

Well, we can fix that right now. Go take a look at all these lovely ladies (and some gents) and how "obese" they are according to the BMI (Body Mass Index) figures fairytale that's been pounded into our heads.

This Flickr photoset also illustrates gals who're merely "underweight" (sometimes by as little as 10 or 11 pounds from their "normal" weight) according to the BMI but who, quite frankly, look to me like something one would see in a documentary about Dachau.

What kind of sick society fills their daughters (and some sons) heads with such poison? Many of our young ladies are killing themselves over this and there are just as many young boys being terrorized and abused in their schools for being "fatties."

Dr. King was on the right track when he dreamt of a day when we would judge people, not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.

Let's just expand that to include "size" as well as "color" and let's for sure stop listening to those who would shame us for what we are.

Most of them can't live their own lives. They have no business telling us how to live ours.

I know I've posted two rants today so I thought I'd share something cool that I've had in my "bloggable tidbits" notes for a couple months now.

This is a video of South Korean boys cheering for their soccer teams. Think of it as a "human LCD."

The most amazing thing is that they do this with their CLOTHES (not holding up cards). They have a jacket that is one color on the back, one on the front, and that they can open or close to show a third color shirt on the inside. One school has also figured out how to use their pants to make shading.

If the embedded video above doesn't work for you, go here to watch it.

After reading my last blog post you can go to Rolling Stone magazine's site to read about How America Lost The War On Drugs. It's a longish article but well worth it for the perspective it gives on just how we got into such a mess.

Jack Shafer at Slate Magazine thinks it's the smartest drug story of the year.

"The real radicals of the War on Drugs are not the legalization advocates, earnestly preaching from the fringes, but the bureaucrats -the cops and judges and federal agents who are forced into a growing acceptance that rendering a popular commodity illegal, and punishing those who sell it and use it, has simply overwhelmed the capacity of government."

Many of you read my title and thought I was going to rant on about the war in Iraq. That is certainly a rantable subject, but I'm talking about a war a little closer to home.

The drug war.

Radley Balko at The Agitator has this story about Cory Maye and his family but also about Ron Jones (the cop Cory shot when they broke into his house -- the wrong house, mind you -- six years ago) and Officer Jones family. Two families dealing with a tragedy that should never have happened. Both families victims of our politician's refusal to face the facts... the so-called "war on drugs" is not working.

To quote from the linked story. The drug war will. . .

. . .continue to claim and ruin lives, because too few politicians have the backbone to stand up and say after 30 years, $500 billion, a horrifyingly high prison population, and countless dead innocents, cops, kids, nonviolent offenders, decimated neighborhoods, wasted lives, corrupted cops, and eviscerations of the core freedoms this country was allegedly founded upon, the shit isn't working. It'll never work. It never has. It's a testament to the facade of truth that is politics that no leaders from the two majors parties have in thirty years been able to say this.

So. How many more casualties will it take?

Today was a lot of work on getting the band gigs as well as announcing the ones we have.

I've heard back from three people today; one with a confirmed date, one with a range of dates for us to choose from and one that said "we're all booked up 'til March, look at our calendar and choose from there."

In any event, Snake Suspenderz will be playing up in Everett, WA at The Anchor Pub this coming Friday, December 14th. We'll be appearing with the Lucky Devil Girly Show (a burlesque troupe) and the Anarchists Union Local 360, a country-punk (punktry?) band.

Showtime is at 9pm and there's an $8 cover. If you're up in that neck of the woods (or can get there reasonably easily) please come on down!

The Anchor is expanding from a basic tav into more of a nightclub scene and I think we'll be the first show on their new stage.

Spent a lot of time today getting a mailing together for my e-mailing list, the first one in months. I'm kinda hoping that the reasonable discipline from NaBloPoMo will carry over into that. After all I only have to do one a month of the mailings.

Of course, there's an almost immediate flood of "we can't find these people" messages from assorted mail daemons. And since I haven't gotten things automated enough in the mail list department, I'm having to go in and manually change two files (uploading one to the server) for all 9 or 10 of the bogus addresses. Oh well. We'll count that as inspiration to go do something about automating the process.

I'm slacking a little bit from the one-post-per-day thing in the blog but still hope to keep things busy around these parts as well.

Meanwhile, I feel like I've actually accomplished at least some things today, so I think it's time for goodnights.

I'm home from today's Snake Suspenderz gig... the "North Pole Party" at Everett's Imagine Children's Museum.

And boy, do I ever have a headache.

Let's get it straight from the top. The folks at the museum were fabulous. Very nice and hardworking (and harried!), putting on a heck of a party for, oh, I dunno, about a bazillion children and their parents. But the day was just about too much for me.

Dean and I left at about 12:30, thinking we'd get to Everett at a bit after 1pm. Ha!

First, when we got within a half-dozen or so blocks of Aurora Avenue on our way to I-5 the traffic was already backed up. Turns out that they'd closed a lane of the road we were on -- called 105th right there... it changes names 3 or 4 times between my place and the freeway onramp -- and so everything that was crossing Aurora was funneling down into one lane. We saw this as we finally made it to the top of the hill and could look down and see Aurora itself.

Add to that the funeral, complete with motorcycle escorts, heading south on Aurora and you get a hella fine block up. So we ducked off the street we were on, went up a few blocks and went to turn left on Aurora, hoping to go up to the next street where we could catch an I-5 onramp (145th).

But NOOoooo!

When we get to Aurora there's another damn funeral (northbound this time) keeping us from turning onto the street.

When we finally made it to the gig, there was maybe 15 minutes to set up and start playing instead of almost an hour.

Turns out, they wanted us to play in this little traffic pattern between two of the exhibits. We were sort of scratching our heads but we managed to wedge our way in and get sufficient sound system going to be heard. Sort of.

I say sort of because this is a big ol' echoey corrogated steel building and there are those bazillion kids I mentioned, all dashing about shrieking, hooting, hollering (and having a marvelous time)... but damn they were loud!

Now, we knew we were going to play a couple sets and then we'd be playing as a "back up band" for 5 Christmas carols. What wasn't made clear -- or at least, I didn't catch on to -- was that these two events happened on two different floors of the place. So we had to set up, (partially) break down, move the stuff, set up again, and then do the final breakdown when we were done.

I really should have eaten more this morning because by the time it got to the changing of the floors part I had a savage headache.

There was a bit of confusion during the story time (where we were being back up band), mainly about what key we were supposed to be in, but it worked out pretty well.

Ah well. Headache or not, we introduced a whole lot of younguns to old-skool hot jass, hokum and novelty music and had some great little dancing babies while we were playing (hope the pics with the dancing babies on them turn out well). I'll be posting some pics of the gig at the Snakes site in a day or so.

Special thanks to Elizabeth and all the fine elves who took the time to make sure that even the rough stuff went as smoothly as possible. You guys are tops!

Meanwhile, next Friday we're back up in Everett at the Anchor Pub for a great show with Anarchists Union Local 360 and the Lucky Devil Girly Show.

I can't wait!

Even though I got home from the Market just minutes before it started, tired and grumpy from a bad day and worse bus service at the end of it, we managed to have a great rehearsal tonight.

It started with a brief "business meeting" where we discussed how we were going to deal with the two recent gig offers. We're pretty sure that we can fill up the small club here in town given enough lead time so tomorrow I contact the proprietor and get that ball rolling.

The one up in Bellingham we're going to offer to work for a guarantee against the door. We can not drive all the way up there only to find that we're paying for gas and bringing nothing back in. So we'll set a minimum guarantee level of, say... $50 to cover the petrol. If the door is more than that, the club owes us nothing. If less, they make up the difference.

We don't mind just breaking even for this. We need to get out in public and we know that developing a broader fan base is only going to be good for us. But we're not willing to lose money on it. If they club owner can't deal with that, we'll regretfully turn it down. Politely too, you understand. Perhaps down the road we'll get some sort of mini-tour going where the jump from the gig before -- or to the next one -- isn't so great a leap and there'll be less expenses that way.

We also talked a bit about starting a "band fund" with portions of our gig money in order to cover gas for these sort of things. We haven't hammered out any details on this but we'll re-visit the issue later.

We then worked out on the five Christmas songs that they want us to play during our Saturday gig at the Everett Children's Imagination Museum. Since the kids are going to be singing for these (we'll just be the backup band) we didn't have to exactly "learn" them. We'll have fake sheets to refer to. For the rest of the time we'll play our usual material, being slightly more careful on choice. (Nothing too adult oriented.)

For the next hour+ we just jammed a few tunes for our own benefit and for the recorder. For a couple of them we purposely did several "takes." Thad will dump it out onto his computer and see if we caught anything good. I think the second (of three) takes we did on "Lady Is A Tramp" smoked along pretty well.

Alas for Thad, we had several bad silly attacks so he's got a lot of fluff to speed through to find the "good bits."

One odd point was that Andrew brought over his secondary upright bass -- yes, he's our drummer but that's not all he does -- so he could show it to Dean. It's up for sale so now Dean has to decide if he wants to buy it and then spend the money to have it switched around to a lefty. Whichever way he jumps on that, it was unusual to see two uprights here in the ol' Hobbit living room.

All in all it was a very successful (and fun!) evening.

In the last 5 days I've sent out two emails to clubs -- one here in Ballard (the Seattle neighborhood I live in) and one in Bellingham (about 2 hours to the north) -- inquiring about bookings for Snake Suspenderz.

Both clubs have already gotten back to me and, based strictly on the info, recordings, etc. on the Snake Suspenderz site, both want to hire us for a night.

w00t!

If I can apply a similar amount of discipline to gig inquiries that I've recently been doing with blog posts, I might actually start seeing those legendary creatures, the regular gigs.

Ok... this is not exactly a "gig story" since it wasn't a paid gig. Dean and I went out to the open mike at the Mainstage Comedy and Music Club tonight. It's hosted by my friends Jeremy and Kevin, aka Dave Hates Chico.

I love the guys and have seen them perform here and there for several years now but I really have to take exception to their policy of having the list mostly filled up before signup starts. I know, I know... they've left comments on Openmikes.org about how those folks are the faithful that show up over and over but frankly, that's what makes open mikes boring for the non-musicians who might show up. Same folks every time. And usually guitar after guitar as well.

And if you're a noob you show up early, all excited to play and lo, the first set is maybe open but the next available one is hours down the way, you might just do the legendary ctrl-alt-fuckit and never show up again.

If you're going to do that sort of thing, do a hat draw. Put the names in the hat of all the folks who've called you and said they'll be there and the names of the folks who've actually bothered to show up for the signup and then draw for spots. Let everybody know that's how it's done.

Fudge a bit if you have to. If you know good ol' Joe works until 9:30 and really needs the 10pm spot, slip him in during the draw.

But having the first 8 or so spots filled up before signup starts is just bunk. It's not an "open" mike.

If you're going to do that, call it a "showcase" and fill all the spots with acts you like. Nothing wrong with that, and it's up front how it works.

As it happens, we ended up playing second (well, third... the hosts at open mikes always do the warmup spot). Maybe 10 or so people there, they pretty much dug it and Dean and I had fun, so don't take this rant to mean that the whole thing sucked.

It's just a pet peeve I guess.

I'm old enough to remember when performers got a free beverage for playing. It's not much, but it made you feel appreciated for your efforts. Over the course of time that went away and now many of the places act like they're doing you a big favor by allowing you to come up and entertain their patrons. And by god you better buy a drink too!

I suppose if you're one of the folks who usually just plays to his/her bedroom walls that might be true. Sometimes those folks will surprise you but sometimes they... well, suck. Applaud anyway. They at least have the cojones to go up and do it.

But there are a lot of folks here in Seattle (and elsewhere I'm sure) who're of pro quality, even if they don't necessarily gig out much, and they shouldn't be shunted aside when they choose to come out and share their music, even if they're not the "regulars."

I have a "secret plot" for the perfect open mike. As soon as I gather the rest of the needed equipment (mainly more microphones, stands and cords) I'm going to give it a shot too.

You don't even need to be a longtime reader of this blog to know I've posted before about MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) working hard to end drinking, period. Here's their latest "victory."

Now in North Carolina you can lose your driver's license for supplying alcohol to anyone under 21.

We're not talking buying booze for some high school student hanging around outside the local package store, we're talking if you give your son or daughter a glass of wine with dinner, even if they never get behind the wheel, you can lose your license.

"The penalty is important because many underage drinkers get alcohol from friends or family members, said Craig Lloyd, the executive director of the North Carolina chapter of Mothers Against Drunk Driving."

"It's a zero-tolerance policy," he said. "Breaking the law is breaking the law."

Radley Balko at The Agitator (where I found this story) says:

"I know what you're thinking. Surely authorities would never barge into someone's home and arrest them for allowing their 18, 19, or 20-year-old son or daughter to have a beer, right?

Well, you'd think. But then, if you'd told me police might come to the home of a minor's parents at 4 am, wake the entire family, then give the girl a breath test to see if she had been drinking at a party held hours earlier, I'd have been dubious, too."

But it's already happened in Michigan. From the ACLU of Michigan site's article:

"...Ashley Berden was 18 years old when she attended a party at a friend's house to celebrate her graduation from Swan Valley High School. After she left the party, Thomas Township police officers arrived and found her purse which she had forgotten. They then came to Berden's house at 4:00 a.m., woke up her family and demanded that she take a breath test. The police did not have a warrant but they informed her that would be violating the law if she refused the test. The test registered a .00% blood-alcohol level, indicating that Berden had not been drinking."

Do you still have any doubts that MADD needs to be stopped? Spread the word to your friends. Give MADD no more money nor any other sort of support. Ridicule them wherever possible, and any of their allies in the new prohibition movement.

It's your freedoms they're after.

Just in time for the holidays, nanny statists and other PC jerkoffs the world around are taking aim at Santa Claus.

We have "Australian Santas ordered not to say 'ho, ho, ho' for fear of offending women or scaring children, and British Santas sent to boot camp to lose weight."

And now our Surgeon General is saying Santa is "sending the wrong message" and needs to slim down.

Folks, the Surgeon General's office was established for the health and welfare of our soldiers and sailors. When the hell did it become Nanny State Central?

Bad enough that one of them made an off-the-cuff remark about "secondhand smoke" that's caused more idiotic, un-constitutional laws than anything short of the recent two "concept wars" (drugs, terrorism). Even reasonably intelligent people have been convinced that there are actual studies proving secondhand smoke is dangerous.

Yeah? Name one. Give me a link. Sorry, metastudies clever number juggling of other studies doesn't count.

We'll just take one of those... the "accepted wisdom" now is that if you're going to eat sugar you should eat cane sugar, not HFCS. Lessee... HFCS is about 55% fructose and, oh, I see! Cane sugar is only umm... 50% fructose so of course it's way better. And the rest of the hoorah is about what?

Oh yeah. And they're back on salt again. (Sorry, can't find the most recent link on that one.)

Let's just conveniently ignore the research showing that people who're a bit overweight -- at least, overweight according to the science fairy tale of the body mass index -- are actually healthier and likely to live longer.

No matter that all the "facts and figures" our government (and others) have released about how deadly obesity is turned out to be big fat lies. The nannies got their teeth into what they think is right and, by god, they know how to live our lives!

Look at the survey in the linked article... 95% of the respondents agree with me.

Word up! Leave the Santa legend alone.

Sabrina lives two doors up the street from us. She came and visited us before we moved in (while we were still painting). We opened the door and she just ambled on in.

"So you're the new people here? You may pet me."

It's gotten to the point that we just gave her mama lady our phone numbers so that if she's calling Sabrina and not getting a response she can ring us up to see if the cat is visiting.

We've been having mixed snow and rain the last couple days. Earlier this morning I heard Sabrina honking at the door -- she has the funniest, grumbly little cat voice -- and so I let her in.

She had some crunchies, got sniffed and kissed by Yuri, argued with Jack about whether or not rasslin' was a good idea, napped out for a bit, and then started honking at the door to be let out.

So I opened the door and she got a whiff of the weather. "Ack!" quoth she and didn't set paw out on the porch.

A little time passes and she's back at the door. I open it again. Now she's really miffed. I'm getting almost the same amount of kitty cursing as when I didn't open the door fast enough to let her in earlier.

I'm the human, and therefore in charge of such things, so why the hell can't I change the weather so she doesn't have to deal with all that external water on her furs?

I just picked her up and put her on the kitty shelf under one of our dining room windows. She seems to have settled in for a while.

I just got back a few minutes ago from a gig at the Gage Academy of Art. It was the third time that Snake Suspenderz has played their yearly "Drawing Jam" but it was the first time we'd done it as a quartet instead of a duo.

Longtime readers of my blog (are there any?) will recall that last year we met our drummer, Andrew "Sketch" Hare at the Drawing Jam. So this was like an anniversary of some sort.

This year Sketch brought his lovely wife, Zenobia. Beautiful name too, hm?

I got to talk with Kelly, who sells her paintings down at Pike Place Market and Joe, who I've known for just ages and ages. Starting with the SCA I think and since then I've run into him all over the place.

Seattle can be such a small town sometimes. But mostly in a good way.

Goddess Kring was there again this year, and again was one of the nude models in the room we were scheduled to play in, but this time her sessions and ours didn't align. I did get to see her and say hi though.

I ran into Mama Lou, my favorite sexy strong woman and got a nice hug and a chat with her. She's been in town a few months but is heading out soon for a long tour in Australia.

No sign of Michael Deasy, Jr. and his Cedar Beam Conspiracy. That was kind of a drag because I'm pretty sure that our bass player, Dean, would have loved to jam with them a bit.

Thad showed up later than we expected him. He was on time, you understand, but he usually tries to be a bit earlier. Turns out that he'd come straight from the hospital because he had to take his wife, Sandahbeth, into the emergency room again. She's got some serious health issues. Hope she's feeling better!

We had a good set that finished off with a couple of the Klez Katz sitting in... one accordian and one sax.

I was watching a lady who was drawing right in front of us (we were at the back of the room with the models on a stage on the other side). She kept turning and looking at us and she started packing up her stuff from her easel. I was thinking... "Geez! Are we being too loud or something?" No, apparently not. She turned around and pulled another easel up so she could draw us.

Four or five other folk were doing the same thing. One of them is a friend of Sketch and I'm hoping he'll talk her out of one of the drawings she did of us. It'd make a hella good album cover!

One of the artists liked us well enough to shell out the 10 clams and buy our CD. Yay, her!

With any luck they will have us back next year! The money is a bit on the sparse side but they feed you and give you wine or beer. And it's just a fun gig.